visits to clinics

well, this was embarrassing. 

a little background is necessary for those that dont know my history of illness and SE Asia. i have been traveling in Asia for 10 years, and pretty much across the board have had some serious food-poisoning-like reaction on average of once every two weeks (not to mention giardia and other similar party topics). there was one time in Thailand in the summer of 2004 when i went 14 days without puking my guts out and we decided to celebrate it with a night on the town. this ended in a night of me hunched in an alley near Khao San Rd in Bangkok..... you guessed it! -- puking my guts out.

so now, rewind the tape to April 2009, when this digestion issue -- which i now find only mildly traumatic due to our predictable and longstanding relationship with one another -- and a need for a rabies booster, finds me in the "traveler's health clinic" at UNC general medicine department. i put this in "quotes" because i was under the totally baseless assumption that those who worked in the THC (teehee) might have, oh, i dont know - ever left the country before. or, in the case of my nurse, left our beloved county of Orange.

she started off ok. she asked why i had come in. 

things were pretty much downhill from there. next, we had an alarmingly long and mutually confusing discussion about Cambodia being the name of an actual country. a country that was in Asia. a country in Asia in which i had taken a "real" job for which i would receive money. and that yes, i would have a toilet when i moved there.

as she hunched over the wall worldmap trying to locate this so-called Cambodia, i rolled my eyes and checked my watch and hoped that she had been taught how to use the rolling, single-button blood pressure machine next to my chair. that she had. whew.

after this, i remembered to tell her that i also wanted to ask the doctor about this mystery vomiting reaction i had routinely experienced. she had Qs, but at this point, i just asked her to write down "food poisoning" for the doctor and i would go into it with him. at the mention of food poisoning, she perked right up, moved in close, and exclaimed - as though she had just, that moment, on her very own, discovered the cure for cancer - 

"Maybe thar's a bug in thar fooood -- 

[now she placed a breathless hand on my forearm]  

OR IN THAR AY-ER!! -- that's a'makin you seeck!"

so this was how i left NC.... with the idea that perhaps there was a bug in "their air" that was making me sick. perhaps. 

i mean, im no doctor...

 

since that time, one might say that i have been to the clinic "a lot." or one might say, compared to # of lifetime Asian clinic visits, that the number is not actually as alarming as it seems on paper. truth be told, i have been frequently, sans health insurance. 

for the most part, i feel like im living an anonymous lifestyle here - at least among the Cambodian population. 

the other day, for various dietary and health reasons, i decided that i need to know my blood type. i called up the clinic in my neighborhood.

Khmer receptionist: Hello. Raffles Medical Clinic.... how can i help you?

Amy: Hi! im wondering if i can come in to get a test to find out my blood type?

Khmer receptionist: Yes. we can do that. do you want to come in today?

Amy: Yes, maybe in one hour?

Khmer receptionist: Sure - that will cost $5.00.

Amy: Ok, sounds good. ill be there soon....

Khmer receptionist: Can i get your name?

Amy: Amy. A-M-Y.

Khmer receptionist: [without missing a beat] Amy Cleckler?

Amy: uh..... yes. Amy Cleckler. 

Khmer receptionist: Great! See you soon, Amy. 

i was already freaked out. what?! have i really been there that often?

so i go in to get my blood taken. speedy. efficient. $5. no big deal.

i got to the checkout desk to pay. they are having a nurses' meeting at the desk, so i am interrupting. quickly, i lay a $5 bill on the desk, and turn to go. the checkout lady says, "Do you want a receipt?"

and one of the other nurses - who i dont recognize - says, "She has so many receipts! she doesnt want another one!" 

and then we all laugh....

shameful. 

what?! 

ahh, Cambodia......