islands in the stream, thats what we are...

part of the fun of getting around here is being on the back of a moto. they are the dominant form of transportation, and also arguably the most dangerous. i have a bicycle, and can go around on it most of the time, but often i have to take one of the other available forms of transport: the moto or the tuk-tuk. the moto is just paying someone to take you somewhere on the back of their scooter. the tuk tuk is like a covered, metal chariot harnessed to the back of a moto. a tuk-tuk is about 2x as expensive as a moto. hence, i ride motos all the time. 

there are two drivers that live across the street, a father and son, and so, if they are hanging out in their hammocks and see me come out of my flat with a helmet, i use them.... if not, i walk to the market (1 blk away) and find someone there. you have to real careful not to get your bag snatched.... my expat friends and i have thought about getting t-shirts made that say 'Im white, but i dont have anything valuable on me' in Khmer on the back. 

so far, so good.

i went to the grocery store tonight to get some food items, including a heavyduty jasmine air freshener (bathroom smells like poo), and got a moto on the way home. dude's helmet had a large sticker on the back of his helmet that said, 'Handicap International.' i didnt discover this until we were already on our way. after spying the sticker, i was paying more attention. the only weird thing i could detect was that he was decidedly preoccupied with something that was going on in his lap area. i was craning my neck a bit to make sure he wasnt doing anything weird to my eggs. im still suspicious, but the groceries look ok... 

OH.......MY...........GOD......... 

i just realized something. just this second!!!!  AS i was writing........

when i got home and came inside to unload the groceries, i was bummed because i only had 2 of the 3 air fresheners i bought. 

that handicapped bastard stole one! 

when i got off the moto, i went to get my bag, which was sitting up front with him, and, also, to make sure he didnt have his pants unfastened, and he seemed to be hiding something -- and the top of it was WHITE... and it was my THIRD AIR FRESHENER!!!!

bastard!

ack - i have been robbed of air freshener!!!!!! 

this is terrible!

....although it could have been worse - i always hide my wallet somewhere on my person in case someone grabs my bag. but i have never thought they would steal in while youre just sitting there with them. 

mentally handicapped is MY guess.

  

wow. can you believe that we just realized this together?! right at the same time. 

morals: 

-if the helmet says Handicap International, do not patronize.

-if the moto driver seems weird, he IS. get off bike and find more trusty moto driver. 

damn......

 

on a happier note, i have had a continuous backache and neckache, and i honestly think its because everything here is built for tiny people. washing dishes or going to the bathroom is like playing in a Montessori classroom. i am constantly squatting, ducking, and crouching. in addition, just to test the reflexes, all the stairsteps are different sizes. some are deep, some are shallow, some are tall and some are tiny. you have to really pay attention to climb or descend the stairs. even within the same flight, you will get vastly different step configurations. you might get a tall, shallow step followed immediately by a short deep step. its exhausting.

as tired as i have been, i still went shopping. i am pleased to announce that i BOUGHT PILLOWS! i am so happy with myself. they were US$12 each, which is SUPER expensive, and i cannot wait to sleep on them tonight.  

another special culinary treat at work today! during our staff meeting halftime, we were served cellophane-enclosed hot dogs. special ones! they were: 

--1/2 a red hot dog in a sweet bun. 

--also inside: 

-1/2 a pineapple strip

-a strip of spamlike material

--also outside:

-shredded pork

may i have some pork on my spam-apple-dog please?

you got it. 

to all of you that are sad because you werent the first to come visit, you can still win 2nd place!

check out tickets now. 

kayak.com is a great place to find them. also, i have a wonderful travel agent hookup here, Phim, who can help us find ridiculously cheap deals. let me know if you are serious about visiting, and i can hook you up.