bath time!

the landlord is promising a new showerhead!

this, i have come to learn, is one of the most exciting phrases in the english language.

currently, there is a complicated set of exposed pipes in the bathroom (common) which brings me water for my two (quick) showers per day (average). 

here is what i am supposed to use to shower - that is, if i wanted water sprayed everywhere but on my body: 

and here is what i actually use:

just take a moment out of your busy day and try to imagine, if you can, my large American person squatted or sitting on the floor of the tiled bathroom, hunched underneath the lukewarm water stream. the goal is to wash off the residue of the sun cream (thanks, Brits!) and the bug spray (100% Deet - i mentioned already that im a mosquito-magnet, and, consequently therefore, cancer-magnet), only to dry off with a towel that acts more as a water squeegee, and then to re-apply the toxic compounds again - in a neverending cycle of clean-toxinridden-sweaty-clean-toxinridden-sweaty....

i will not even try to describe the process of shaving the legs and underarms.

as you can imagine, i feel lovely. this factors prominently into the explanation of why there are no pictures of me on this blog. 

i have spent countless hours in the cosmetics aisle of the Lucky Supermarket trying to find an unscented body wash that does not contain whitening agents. i do not need help getting whiter, and receive constant, unsolicited praise from my Khmer counterparts on my "efforts" to stay lily white (ie: pink). they want the secret to my success, and i am at a loss of what to tell them. 

on a more positive note...

today i:

• found push pins to hang my maps on the wall.
  
• got an $8/hour massage (relatively expensive)
  
• was relieved of the worry that i might have contracted dengue fever
• visited a book store
  
• ate mayo without a vomiting incident
• realized that every movie on local cable TV features Jack Black. i have now, unwittingly, been exposed to Shallow Hal, School of Rock II, and Nacho Libre.
• tried to use my Khmer language skills with moto-drivers. holy cow.... this will take some practice. to be safe, i have just started asking them if its ok if i shove my bag under the back of their shirts during the ride. this has caused some momentary confusion and giggling, but no bags stolen yet! HU-Zaaaahhhhh!
• ate dinner at Ko Ko Ro, aka Mr Sushi. they serve things called 'roast beef sushi', which wasnt bad, and 'small pregnant fish' for $2.50, which i promise i will order next time. 

i also overhead some typical ex-pat conversation at the next table which went something like this: 

[8 people gathering for dinner at Mr Sushi that are from all over the world and are acting like they know each other a lot better than they probably do-] 
American Guy: "Sven - Martin. Martin - Sven. You guys can talk to each other about being Swedish."

[there follows some typical Sven/Martin exchanges, in English for everyone else's benefit i assume, about what part of Sweden they are from...]

Martin: "Oh, I am from a town not too far from there... That is where they make that incredible bleu cheese!"

...and on and on and on...

im sure this is all good and well and normal, but when im tired or just want to read, all this get-to-know-you-from-all-corners-of-the-world-and-compare-every-possible-travel-story-known-to-man b.s. is super annoying. 

can someone please come visit me?!